An expert can help you translate the information and suggestions and from other sources into a personalized plan that takes into account all of the factors that make your situation unique. An expert can tell you how serious your problem is, whether you’ve analyzed your numbers correctly, if there is other information you should be thinking about, whether it’s worth trying to negotiate with your creditors to reduce your debt payments. And both a credit counselor and a support group can help you put your problems in perspective.

For some reason, it’s considered rude in our society to talk about money. Most people are more comfortable talking about sex, death, or virtually any other painful or awkward topic. But by not talking about our money problems, we end up bearing the weight of our money worries alone. Statistics show that a huge number of people have money problems. A million and a half Americans file for personal bankruptcy every year. Roughly 7 million have trouble paying their bills on time. Many millions more—roughly half of all credit card holders—aren’t able to pay off their credit card balances every month. Yet most of us feel alone with our problems. We think that we are the only ones who have debt problems. Worse, we feel that there is something wrong with us for being in the situation we’re in—that debt is a sign that we’re not good people, not successful, not worth much.

Being in debt has nothing to do with who you are. Sure, the stress and worry of a debt problem can affect how you act as a parent, a spouse or partner, a friend, or an employee or manager. But the debt itself has nothing to do with how well you do in each of those roles. You’re the same person you were before you got into debt, with the same unique personality and the same strengths and skills. Part of the process of getting out of debt is getting back to feeling good about yourself— giving yourself permission to enjoy life and treat yourself well again.

That can be easier if you talk to people who understand the situation you’re in— people who have been in the same difficulty themselves and worked their way out of it, or people who have successfully helped others deal with debt problems. That shared experience can help you understand that you aren’t alone with your debt problem. It’s your problem and you have to solve it. But you have plenty of company.

Talking with an expert or joining a support group has another key benefit. Regular meetings give you an incentive to stick with your plan. It’s very easy to slip or to give up when you try to reduce your debt in isolation. It’s harder when you know you have to check in next week or next month with someone else. The idea of admitting that you’ve made no progress is enough to motivate most people to keep on track.

Credit counseling options

• Financial planners help people save and invest for the future, but they can also help you with a debt problem. A financial planner may be a good option for you if you’re carrying a high level of debt but also have significant assets, such as a retirement account, investments, or a large amount of equity in your home. When looking for a financial planner, look for someone who charges a fee for the consulting services (a “fee-only” financial planner) and doesn’t charge commissions for any investments or transactions he or she recommends. And make sure you understand what that fee will be before you begin to work with a financial planner. To find a financial planner, look in your local Yellow Pages telephone directory under “Financial Planning.”

• Credit counselors help people who are having trouble with credit card debt. The services of non-profit credit counselors are generally free to low-income customers and very reasonably priced for others—in the range of $25 per month. But be sure to ask about fees and find out whether the service is non-profit before you begin working with a counselor. For-profit credit counseling services can be much more expensive. Credit counselors help their customers develop personal debt reduction plans. They can also step in as middlemen between you and your creditors to negotiate a repayment plan that you can afford. Credit counselors often take over the entire responsibility of working with your creditors. When this happens, you will be asked to make a monthly payment to the credit counseling service, and it in turn will make the payments to your creditors. You will be asked to sign a statement committing yourself to taking on no new debt. Depending on how serious your problem is, the credit counselor may also ask you to turn in and destroy all of your credit cards. To find a credit counseling service, look in your local Yellow Pages telephone directory under “Credit Counseling Services.” Look only for non-profit services. For-profit services can be very expensive and are of uneven quality.

• Your employer or union may offer financial counseling at no charge to you as part of an employee assistance program (EAP) or work-life program. Check with your human resources department or a union representative to see if this service is available to you.

Support groups

Debtors Anonymous is a volunteer-run organization with chapters all over the country. Anyone can go to a meeting. There are no membership fees. And there’s no obligation to return if you find it’s not for you. At meetings, members help each other come to terms with and take responsibility for their debts. They also offer practical advice and strategies for repaying debts. Aside from the valuable practical information and advice that’s shared at meetings, Debtors Anonymous provides a social support network that helps people see that they aren’t alone with their debt problems. That social network, combined with a schedule of regular meetings, really does help people stay on track.