Remembering names and faces is one of the most important aspects of our lives, and one of the most difficult. The reason for the difficulty lies in the fact that in most instances the names have no real 'connection' lo the faces. In earlier ages it was exactly the opposite, and the whole system developed for giving people names was based on memory and association: the man you regularly saw covered in white flour with dough all over his hands was Mr. Baker; the man you regularly saw in his own and everyone else's garden was Mr. Gardener; the man who laboured all day over a hot fire pounding metal was Mr. Blacksmith, and so on. As the generations changed and the family name became more and more removed from its original meaning, the task of the memorisation of names and faces became increasingly difficult, reaching the current situation in which the name is a word with no immediate associations with the face.

Method for Remembering Names and Faces

You will never again find yourself in a situation where you are introduced rapidly to five people and hurriedly repeat, 'Pleased to meet you, pleased to meet you, pleased to meet you, pleased to meet you, pleased to meet you', having been introduced only to the five pairs of shoes at which you look in embarrassment because you know you are immediately going to forget all the names anyway (which you do!).

Memory Steps

1. Mental Set. Before you enter a situation in which you will meet people, mentally prepare yourself to succeed and not to fail. Many people enter such situations 'knowing' that they have a bad memory for names and faces and consequently set about proving it to themselves. If you 'know' that your memory is going to improve, you will notice immediate improvement. When preparing yourself for meeting people, try to make sure that you are as poised and relaxed as possible and, also, that wherever possible you have given yourself a two-to five-minute break for preparation.

2. Observe. When you are meeting people, make sure you look them straight in the eye. Don't shuffle around, with your eyes on the floor or looking into the distance. As you look at someone's face, be aware of the special facial characteristics, for this will help you also in the second mnemonic approach to the memorisation of names and faces. From the top of the head to the tip of the chin, enumerating the various characteristics and the ways in which they can be classified and typified. The more you become skilled at the art of observation, the more you will realise just how different one face is from another. If you can sharpen your observational powers, you will have made a giant step toward the improvement of your memory. Blank looking, instead of real seeing, is one of the major causes for poor memory.

3. Listen. Consciously listen, paying attention as much as you possibly can to the sound of the name of the person to whom you are being introduced. This is a crucial stage of the introductory process, at which point many people fail because they were concentrating more on the fact that they were going to forget than on the sound of the name of the person to whom they were being introduced.

4. Request repetition. Even if you have heard the name fairly well, politely say something in the order of 'I'm sorry, would you mind repeating the name?' Repetition is an important memory aid; each repetition of any item you wish to learn greatly increases the probability of your remembering it.

5. Verify the pronunciation. Once you have been given the name, immediately confirm, by asking the person to whom the name belongs, if you have the correct pronunciation. This confirms your interest and once again repeats the name, increasing the probability of your remembering it.

6. Request the Spelling. If there is any doubt about the spelling of the name, politely or playfully ask for the spelling, again confirming your interest and allowing another natural repetition of the name.

7. Your new hobby — derivations. With a natural enthusiasm, explain that one of your new hobbies is the background and derivation of names, and politely ask the person to whom you have been introduced if he or she knows anything about the history of his or her own family name. (Be sure to know the history of your own surname!) It may surprise you to know that on average 50 per cent of people not only know at least some part of the background of their families' nomenclature but most of them are enthusiastic about discussing it. Once again you will have confirmed your interest in the individual, as well as having laid the ground for more repetition.

8. Exchange cards. The Japanese have developed card-exchange as a major social function, realising how useful it is for memory. If you are really interested in remembering people's names, make sure you have a very presentable card to give them, and in most cases they will give you their own or write the details down for you.

9. Repetition in Conversation. Carrying the principles of interest, politeness and repetition further, make sure that during conversations with people newly met you repeat their names wherever possible. This repetition helps to implant the name more firmly in your memory, and it is also socially more rewarding, for it involves the other person more intimately in the conversation. It is far more satisfying for them to hear you say, 'Yes, as Mary has just said ...' than to hear you say, 'Yes, as she [as you point] has just said ...'

10. Repeat internally. During any little pause in the conversation, look analytically and with interest at the various people who are speaking and about whom others are speaking, repeating internally to yourself the names that by now will be becoming second nature to you.

11. Check during longer breaks. If you have gone to get a drink for someone or for yourself, or for any other reason are momentarily alone in a crowd, spend that time scanning everyone you have met, repeating to yourself their names, the spelling of their names, any background material you have gathered about the names, plus any other items of interest that have arisen during the conversation. In this way, you will be surrounding each name with associations, thus building up a mapped network in your own mind that will increase the probability of future recall.

12. Repetition at parting. As you say farewell, make sure you use the name of the person to whom you are saying it. Thus, buy this time you will have used both the primacy and recency time-aspects of memory, having consolidated both your initial and final moments during the 'learning period'.

13. Reviews:

a. Mental. When you have parted from the new people, quickly flash through your mind all the names and faces of those you have just met.

b. Photographs. When possible (for example, at a party), get photographs (either the formal ones or informal ones) of the event.

c. Your names and faces memory diary. If you are interested in becoming a real Master Memoriser of names, keep a special diary in which you quickly sketch and make a Mind Map of the faces of those you have met, the names that attach to them, plus any other Key Image Word information.

d. Personal card file. Keep a card file, noting on each card the time, place and date at which you met the person concerned.

14. The Reversal Principle. Wherever possible, reverse the processes through which you have just been. For example, when being introduced, repeat your own name, give the spelling, and if it seems appropriate even give the background. Similarly, make sure you present, where appropriate, your personal card. Throughout conversations, if you are referring to yourself, use your own name. This will help others to remember you, as well as encouraging them to use their names rather than pronouns during the conversations. In addition to being more polite, this approach will make the entire conversation more personal, enjoyable and friendly.

15. Pace yourself. There is a tendency, because of the stress of the initial meeting situation, for everyone to rush through it. The great names-and-faces memorisers and the founders of social etiquette invariably take their time, making sure that they have said at least one personal thing to everyone whom they meet. The Queen is a good example.

16. Have fun. If you make the learning of names and faces a serious and enjoyable game, the right side of your brain will feel far more free and open to make the imaginative associations and connections necessary for good memory. Children have 'better memories' for names and faces than adults nor because their minds are superior but simply because they naturally apply all the principles outlined in this book.

17. The Plus-One Principle. If you would normally remember only between two to five of thirty people you have newly met, as the average person would give yourself the goal of one more than you would normally remember. This establishes in your mind the principle of success and does not place the unnecessary stress of your trying to perfect first time out. Apply the Plus-one Principle each time you are in a new situation and your road to success in the memorisation of names and faces is guaranteed.

Head and Facial Characteristics

1. Head
You will usually first meet a person face-to-face, so before dealing with the rundown of separate
characteristics, we will consider the head as a whole. Look for the general shape of the entire bone
structure. You will find that this can be:
a) large;
b) medium; or
c) small.
And that within these three categories the following shapes can be found:
a) square;
b) rectangular;
c) round;
d) oval;
e) triangular, with the base at the chin and the point at the scalp;
f) triangular, with the base at the scalp and the point at the chin;
g) broad;
h) narrow;
i) big-boned; or
j) fine-boned.

Fairly early in your meeting, you may see the head from the side and will be surprised at how many different shaped heads seen from this view can take:
a) square;
b) rectangular;
c) oval;
d) broad;
e) narrow;
f) round;
g) flat at the front;
h) flat on top;
i) flat at the back;
j) domed at the back;
k) face angled with jutting chin and slanted forehead; or
i) face angled with receding chin and prominent forehead.

2. Hair
In earlier days, when hairstyles used to be more consistent and lasting, hair served as a better memory hook than it does now. The advent of dyes, sprays, wigs and almost infinitely varied styles makes identification by this feature a tricky business. Some of the more basic characteristics, however, can
be listed as follows.

Men:
a) thick;
b) fine;
c) wavy;
d) straight;
e) parted;
f) receding;
g) bald;
h) cropped;
i) medium;
j) long;
k) frizzy; and
l) colour (only in notable cases).

Women:
a) thick;
b) thin; or
c) fine. Because of the variability in women's hairstyles it is not advisable to try to remember them from this characteristic.

3. Forehead
Foreheads can generally be divided into the following categories:
a) high;
b) wide;
c) narrow between hairline and eyebrows;
d) narrow between temple and temple;
e) smooth;
f) lined horizontally; or
g) lined vertically.

4. Eyebrows
a) thick;
b) thin;
c) long;
d) short;
e) meeting at the middle;
f) spaced apart;
g) flat;
h) arched;
i) winged;
j) bushy; or
k) tapered.

5. Eyelashes
a) thick;
b) thin;
c) long;
d) short;
e) curled; or
f) straight.

6. Eyes
a) large;
b) small;
c) protruding;
d) deep-set;
e) close together;
f) spaced apart;
g) slanted outward;
h) slanted inward;
i) coloured;
j) iris — entire circle seen; or
k) iris — circle covered partly by upper and/or lower lid.
Attention may also be paid in some cases to the lid above and the bag below the eye, both of which can be large or small, smooth or wrinkled, puffy or firm.

7. Nose
When seen from the front:
a) large;
b) small;
c) narrow;
d) medium;
e) wide; or
f) crooked.
When seen from the side:
a) straight;
b) flat;
c) pointed;
d) blunt;
e) snub or upturned;
f) Roman or aquiline;
g) Greek, forming straight line with forehead; or
h) concave (caved in).
The base of the nose can also vary considerably in relation to the nostrils:
a) lower;
b) level; or
c) a little higher.
The nostrils themselves can also vary:
a) straight;
b) curved down;
c) flaring;
d) wide;
e) narrow; or
f) hairy.

8. Cheekbones
Cheekbones are often linked very closely with the characteristics of the face when seen front-on, but the following three characteristics are often worth noting:
a) high;
b) prominent; or
c) obscured.

9. Ears
Ears are a part of the face that few people pay attention to, and yet their individuality can be greater than any other feature. They may be:
a) large;
b) small;
c) gnarled;
d) smooth;
e) round;
f) oblong;
g) triangular;
h) flat against the head;
i) protruding;
j) hairy;
k) large-lobed;
l) no lobe; or
m) uneven.
This feature is of course more appropriate as a memory hook with men than with women, because the latter often cover their ears with hair.

10. Lips
a) long upper lip;
b) short upper lip;
c) small;
d) thick (bee-stung);
e) wide;
f) thin;
g) upturned;
h) down-turned;
i) Cupid's bow;
j) well-shaped; or
k) ill-defined.

11. Chin
When seen straight-on, the chin may be:
a) long;
b) short;
c) pointed;
d) square;
e) round;
f) double (or multiple);
g) cleft; or
h) dimpled.
When seen from the side, it will be:
a) jutting;
b) straight;
c) double (or multiple); or
d) receding.

12. Skin
a) smooth;
b) rough;
c) dark;
d) fair;
e) blemished or marked in some way;
f) oily;
g) dry;
h) blotchy;
i) doughy;
j) wrinkled;
k) furrowed;
l) coloured or suntanned; or
m) freckled.
Other characteristics of faces, especially men's, include the various and varied growth of facial hair ranging from short sideburns to the full-blooded and face-concealing beard with moustache. There is no point in listing all the variations. It should suffice to note that these hirsute phenomena do exist, but that they, like hairstyles and colours, can change overnight.

The Mnemonic Names and Faces Memory Principles

Emphasising:
l (1) imagination, and
l (2) association.

The steps are as follows:
1. Make sure you have a clear mental image of the person's name.
2. Make sure you can actually 'hear again' the sound of the person's name.
3. Very carefully examine the face of the person to whom you are being introduced.
4. Look for facial characteristics that are unusual, extraordinary or unique.
5. Mentally reconstruct the person's face, using your imagination in the way that a cartoonist does to exaggerate any noteworthy features.
6. Associate, using your imagination, exaggeration and the general Memory Principles, any of the outstanding features with the name of the person.