For most people, E-mail, voice mail, cellular phones, fax machines, pagers, and the host of technology that is part of our lives have only lengthened our workdays and given us less time to ourselves. The greater access to communication that technology provides makes our “To Do” lists much longer. Twenty-five years ago, when you called someone who wasn’t home, the phone rang many times, and that was it. There was not an onus on the person called to return your call; the onus was on the caller to try again. But with voice mail, the onus is on the called to return the call—or with the advent of call waiting, to answer numerous calls simultaneously. Today, avoiding phone calls requires even more technology, lest we appear to be antisocial by screening our calls.

And if you’ve made the mistake of subscribing to list servers, you could become bombarded with E-mail—as many as hundreds of messages per day. The benefits and burden of technology increase with handheld organizers, laptop computers, and so forth. Even watching television has become infinitely more complicated, with complex remotes that not only power the VCR and stereo system but also can rewire your house! All this translates into the term E-stress. Part of E-stress is the learning curve. Learning each new technology toy can wreak havoc on the central nervous system of many. And the learning, it seems, never ends, as new gadgets keep being introduced and making the old gadgets obsolete. New versions of E-mail software or fax software also are problematic.

Another part of E-stress is lack of privacy. With so many ways to be contacted, there is no safe haven that is communication- free. In addition, overly loud cell-phone conversations force us to listen to someone else’s private life in public places. We’ve all had those moments where we’ve glared at someone because we really didn’t need to know about her mother’s friend’s colonoscopy! With each new mode of communication come new responsibilities to reply. Experts call this situation multitasking madness.

All the “E” in your life interferes with normal communication. When you’re E-mailing with one hand, talking on the phone with the other, and feeling your pager go off in the same instant, how much focused communication can you deliver or receive? The first step in turning down the “E” is looking at all the ways you’re plugged in each day. Ask yourself these questions:

• How many phone lines do you have?

• How do you receive the Internet? If it’s via cable or dedicated line, you’re never off.

• How many ways can people reach you?

• How many messages do you receive through each mode of communication? Count everything: E-mail to your office, E-mail to your home, phone messages to your cell phone, your office phone, your voice mail, and so on.

• Does E-mail enhance your interpersonal relationships or detract from them? For example, do you find yourself feeling isolated in spite of all the ways you can contact people? Does your life partner spend time with you at home—or with his or her computer? Do your children spend quality time at home, or do they spend all of their time on-line or playing video and computer games? A 2000 Stanford University study on the societal impact of the Internet found that Internet use caused social isolation, which supported the findings of a 1998 study by researchers at Carnegie Mellon University. The preceding questions are designed to help you evaluate the impact of the “E” in your life. Reducing E-stress involves redesigning the technology in your life to work for you rather than against you. By implementing just one of these steps, you can help reduce E-stress:

• Set up unplugged time. Make a decision to be unplugged by a certain time of day, such as after 6:00 P.M. and on weekends. You can even indicate your unplug zone on your outgoing voice mail: “Hi. You’ve reached Dale at 555-5555. I check my voice mail between nine and six each day. After that time, I cannot be reached.” Turn off your computer after 6:00 P.M., too, and do not check E-mail beyond a certain time. You can also set up automatic E-mail responses that tell people you’re away, busy, not answering, and so on.

• Use your cell phone only in case of emergency: for outgoing emergency calls only in case of accident or something unexpected. Don’t give out the number to anyone other than very close family members, and don’t turn it on except in an emergency. If you have voice mail and E-mail, people don’t really need to reach you by cell phone. Don’t subscribe to a message service on your cell phone, either. That way, no one can leave messages.

• Limit your gadgets. If you’ve survived this long without a Palm device, do you really need one? In other words, the more stuff you buy, the more you’ll use, and the less time you’ll have.

• Limit your surfing time. If you’re searching for information about a topic on the Internet (such as stress!), you can be there for days. Give yourself a limited amount of time for research, and then say (as I do), “I’ve done the best I can with the time I have.”

• Limit the messages you save. Try to write down the information as you get it, and erase the messages. Otherwise, you’ll spend too much time listening to old messages.

• Eliminate phone tag by leaving a specific message with specific instructions for replying: “Hi, George, this is Su Lin. I wanted to set up a meeting this Thursday, at 1:00 P.M., in front of the Coffee Mill. If you can’t make it, E-mail me with an alternate time and place. Otherwise, I’ll see you Thursday.”