On the f lip side, many people overeat when under stress— sometimes to the point of eating compulsively. The following behaviors are typical of a compulsive eater:

• Eating when not hungry

• Feeling out of control when around food—either trying to resist it or gorging on it

• Spending a lot of time thinking or worrying about food and one’s weight

• Feeling desperate to try anotherr diet that promises Results

• Feeling self-loathing and shame

• Hating one’s own body

• Being obsessed with what one can or will eat, or has Eaten

• Eating in secret or with “eating partners”

• Appearing in public to be a professional dieter who’s in control

• Buying cakes or pies and treating them as gifts—for example, having them wrapped to hide the fact that they’re for oneself

• Feeling either out of control with food (compulsive eating) or imprisoned by it (dieting)

• Feeling temporary relief by not eating

• Looking forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when one can eat alone

• Feeling unhappy because of one’s eating behavior Most people eat when they’re hungry. But if you’re a compulsive eater, hunger cues have nothing to do with when you eat. You may eat for any of the following reasons:

• To take part in a social event, including family meals or meeting friends at restaurants, where the food is the entertainment, even when you’re not hungry

• To satisfy mouth hunger—the need to have something in your mouth, even though you’re not hungry

• To prevent future hunger (“Better eat now, because later I may not get a chance”)

• As a reward for enduring a bad day or bad experience, or to celebrate a good day or good experience

• Because “It’s the only pleasure I can count on!”

• To quell nerves

• Because you’re bored

• To reward, comfort, or protect yourself because you’re “going on a diet” tomorrow (so you fear that you will be deprived later)

• Because food is your “friend”

Food addiction, like other addictions, can be treated successfully with the twelve-step program, begun in the 1930s by an alcoholic who overcame his addiction by essentially saying, “God, help me!” He found other alcoholics who were in a similar position, and through an organized, nonjudgmental support system, they overcame addiction by realizing that “God” (a higher power, spirit, force, physical properties of the universe, or intelligence) helps those who help themselves. In other words, you have to want the help. This is the premise of Alcoholics Anonymous, the most successful recovery program for addicts.

People with other addictions have adopted the same program, using Alcoholics Anonymous and the “The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions,” the founding literature for Alcoholics Anonymous. Overeaters Anonymous (OA) substitutes the phrase compulsive overeater for alcoholic, and food for alcohol.

The theme of all twelve-step programs is best expressed through the Serenity Prayer, the first line being “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” In other words, you can’t take back the food you ate yesterday or last year, but you can stop feeling guilty and start controlling the food you eat today. Every twelve-step program also has the Twelve Traditions, which essentially are a code of conduct.

OA membership is divided into all-female and all-male groups. To join an OA program, you need only take the first step. Most people are able to do abstinence and the next two steps in a six- to twelve-month period before moving on. In an OA program, abstinence means three meals daily (weighed, measured, and recorded) with nothing in between except sugar-free or no-calorie beverages and sugar-free gum. The program also advises you to get your doctor’s approval before starting.

Abstinence progresses one day at a time with the help of sponsors—recovering overeaters who have been there and who can talk you through your cravings. In addition, they will check your progress and are available to discuss your daily food intake.